I’ve been feeling . . . like I should wear a shirt that reads, “CONTENTS ARE FRAGILE,” and actually that we should all wear that shirt, so that we can all remember to be kind to each other, because life can be so hard, and we’re only here for a little while.
- Alice Bradley, Finslippy
I mean, this is Texas for God's sakes. If you can't bring a gun to kindergarten in Texas then the rest of the country is screwed.
- Jenny, The Bloggess, What the hell, Texas?
Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring.
- Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
I thought about doing something athletic, like going for a run, but when I looked out the living room window it was still January, so I trashed the physical fitness idea.
- Stephanie Plum, Three To Get Deadly
Fear mongering is a lousy profession, one that ought to be regulated, if not banned. I'm more in favor of hope mongering.
- Seth Godin, Is There a Fear Shortage?
Remember what all the holidays this time of year are about. It’s the rebirth of the light, the return of the Sun, however you spell it. In the depths of winter’s darkness, on the longest night of the year, the wheel turns and the next day there will be just a little more light, and a little less darkness. That’s what’s its all about, lighting a candle in the dark, and trusting that the planets will turn, the universe will move, and tomorrow there will be just a little more sun to light our way.
- Laurell K. Hamilton, The Magic of the Everyday
If there was a Nobel Prize for enjoying the sound of your own voice, Obama would definitely have qualified.
- John Derbyshire, Too Many Words
Do not stab, kick, punch or shoot the inflatable decorations. I don't want another Bozo massacre on my hands.
- The Management, At Knighton's Office
[I]t's nearly December! What happened to July? Did we even have a July? I don't remember, which raises an interesting question: Is the year nearly empty or is it nearly full? Do we start with a full year and empty it out or do we start with an empty year and fill it up?
- Bill Farrell, Not Half at Twelve Two Two Fondue
Life is not designed with anyone's happiness in mind, and it has the disconcerting habit of not rewarding the good as much as we'd expect, of punishing the wicked less vigorously than we'd like, and even, on occasion, of getting the two completely mixed up.
- Marcus Buckingham, What's Happening to Women's Happiness?
[S]omewhere in the deep dark unexplored depths of my car, the Goldfish and Gummy Bears are mating and evolving into higher life forms.
- Antique Mommy, Crazy Things In My Car
That is now going to be my answer when someone asks how's it going: I LACK THE PROPER ADJECTIVE.
- Heather Armstrong, Dooce
I had a blast in college, especially when I learned how to break the rules and not get caught. Am I proud of breaking he rules? Why yes, actually. But I’m most proud of not getting caught.
- Stacy from Louisville, Bible College Love Super Quiz 2008
Truly, it can be stated: "If you want to impress a woman, bake her a pie."
- Neil Peart, Bubba's Bar 'n' Grill
Have you ever longed to sleep a thousand years? A thousand years might just do it. And on waking we’d have pancakes. Then perhaps a nap.
- Tony Woodlief, Sand in the Gears
To me, the term "power nap" is an oxymoron. I don't take power naps. I take out-of-power naps.
I don't nap to work harder. I nap because I'm tired and I need to lie down.
- Lisa Scottoline, Chick Wit
And dude, when you’re rooting for the machines in a Terminator movie, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.
- Carrie Vaughn, Filling the Well
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